A Change of Seasons III: "When in doubt, move." / "Regret nothing..."

"When in doubt, move.":
My life had become quite stagnant.

I'd fallen in to the same routine pretty much day in and day out, and it was starting to bother me. I felt like I was missing out while other people were getting out there and living life.

I don't know what exactly sparked it but suddenly, I wanted to be one of those people who got out there and experienced life. I realized that there were so many experiences I wasn't having because instead I was worrying about getting the next best piece of armor in WoW.

So what did I do?

I moved.

I don't mean move as in moved house, or got up and flailed my arms about, but instead I changed what I was doing. I began to make it a point to get out there and experience life. To socialize, and meet new people. To try and advance myself as a person.

Honestly, it's one of the best decisions I've made.

It's probably been about a year or so since I decided to make this change and I am so absolutely happy with my life right now. I've taken risks and failed, but that's just given me more opportunities to learn and mature. On that note...

"Regret nothing, because at one point it was exactly what you wanted.":

That quote. I can't remember when or where I read it but when I did, something resonated with me. I didn't just read and process it, I felt it. It's like it spoke with me on a whole new level altogether.

I've since adopted this as one of my personal policies, if you will. I try to make it a point not to regret anything. Not only because at one point it is what I wanted, but also because there is always good to come out of any given situation, however unfortunate the circumstances.

Take for instance, Sara's accident. October 24th, 2007. A massively life-changing event, not only for Sara but for myself, our whole family, and indeed many friends. Sara's accident placed her in hospitals for well in to a year and a half, put immense emotional, mental, and financial strain on our family, and the resulting aftermath has been the cause of a lot of turbulence in our lives.

As hugely unfortunate as this event was, there's no changing the fact that this is how all of our lives' are now; and something else, it's helped me mature immensely, which is something I needed in my life. These past three and a half years have been extremely trying, but hard times help define who you truly are. In the words of Antonio Ramos...

"...Knowing who we are, who we can be, and who we want to be all pretty much fall in line... right behind who we have to be."

Forgive me for interpreting other's words here, but for me at least it feels as if he's saying that we shine truest to our actual colors in our darkest hour. In all the times I've spent reflecting on who I am, where I've been and what I've done, I can't help but feel that all my trials and tribulations have helped shape who I am today and the morals I live my life by. All the decisions I have made in my life, regardless of outcome, have helped me better myself in some way, which is why I try to make it a point not to regret anything.

"No-oh-oh-oh-ohhh regrets, I know, this is the way it had to go..."

I met a homeless man tonight.

Pretty straightforward title, should be no questions or interpretations there.

I have to say, I had never met anybody who was homeless before. I've heard people talk about it, being homeless that is, or I've read people's first and third person accounts, but I had never actually had the chance to interact with somebody who actually is homeless until tonight.

He was sitting outside of Tama-Rama's, the little shop in downtown Cotati that my friends and I usually hang out at. He asked us if anyone had a cigarette, and Eric obliged him. Eric went over and sat near him first, so I decided to follow suit.

I sat next to him and we made some smalltalk. I didn't want to ask about the obvious as I figured that would be rude, but then he mentioned that he had been homeless for five months or so and so I asked him how it happened, etc. He gave his story, cut and dry, no "pity me" act or anything. Everybody else was largely ignoring him.

I wanted to know more, but out of courtesy I decided not to pry. If he had wanted to divulge that information I'm sure he would have. Eric and Josh had left at some point while I was conversing with Clyde (the homeless man). After a few minutes of simply listening to the rain and reflecting a little bit on the whole situation, Ian suggested that we head back to his house.

I agreed, stood up and pulled the $9 I had in my wallet out, handed it to Clyde and wished him a merry Christmas. He looked grateful. I told him I wish I could have helped him more but times are tight for me as well and patted him on the shoulder before I left.

The look in his face made my year. The gratitude, even unspoken, was undeniable. No further words were spoken, and I turned my back on the man and left.

I truly do wish I could help him out more though. The man is 50 years old and sleeping on the streets. I wish I had some way that I could take him in, give him a safe, warm place to sleep and a new chance at life. I wish I had the means. Unfortunately I don't.

Hopefully he tries to find more help. I know it's out there. My faith in human generosity was more than restored after my sister's accident when people came out of the woodwork, people I had never even met, to help us pool together money or support or whatever. I hope our society lets this man back in and gives him a new start.

More than anything though, this has helped give me a new perspective on everything. Even with all the turbulence going on in my life right now, this experience, however unfortunate the means, has helped me realize just how much I have to be thankful for. I don't have to worry about my next meal. I don't have to worry about having a safe, warm place to sleep.

Hopefully my writing will help you realize how fortunate you are too. Hopefully if you ever have an experience like this, you help out in any way you can. Hopefully you make these people realize that there are still people in the world who care, and make them feel human again. I'm sure they encounter a lot of people who would rather just ignore the fact that they exist.

Who knows, maybe your random act of generosity could be just the morale boost that they need to start getting their life really turned around.

Persistent Identity and The Benefits of Anonymity.

I've had this idea for a blog post for a while now, though I've never really bothered to get around to it. But the more and more I spend time on the internet, the more and more I notice it...

I am talking, of course, about this sort of constant identification that we see here on the internet. Everything needs an account. You need to have an identity. You need a nickname, a real name, a picture, something or some way for other people to identify you.

This has become especially noticeable in recent months with so many websites now linking together with digg, facebook, reddit, etc... There are a number of websites out there even that let your account be based off of your facebook account to save you having to register a new account with them.

But why? What good does this do us? I can see some desire out there to have an identity and that's fine. I'm guilty of this too -- I have a facebook account, a blog, AIM/MSN/ICQ/Y! accounts, and so forth. There are instances where I want people to know who I am and likewise, I want to know who they are; but not all the time.

The problem here, I fear, is the fact that people know that the words they say, be it blog posts, status updates, etc. come back to them. People are wary of speaking their true opinions when their identity is tied to it. I am no exception to this rule; I am often fairly reserved in my words and actions when I am posting online or when I am around people I know.

All is not lost however. There are still a few places on the internet (though even less in real life, especially legally) where anonymity is king. The effects of this are profound. Knowing there will be no repercussions, people post their truest opinions, the wildest stories and the hardest truths. With no reputation to defend, people will literally say anything.

Unfortunately, the signal to noise ratio is thrown off. With true anonymity, people often fill the space with static "noise", that is, nonsense or meaningless banter, so at first, and possibly second, glance, such places may appear to offer little in the way of honest, truthful, constructive speech.

There are rare occasions, however, where a civil discussion is had and it can be truly astonishing -- simply watching the exchange of ideas, uninhibited by this artificial existence we've created for ourselves, can be a pretty enlightening experience. Because people are completely uninhibited, there is good potential for people to be discussing ideologies and solutions to problems that wouldn't conventionally cross somebody's mind.

Think of it as the writing on bathroom walls -- often it's meaning is shallow and vulgar, but occasionally you will come along a piece that truly incites thought, be it something unconventional or simply an unfiltered, raw truth. Unfortunately graffiti, being a crime and all, is often painted over, regardless if it's vulgar and meaningless, or deep and insightful.

So I urge you, whoever and wherever you are, to explore means to discuss ideas and scenarios in a truly anonymous fashion. Exhibit your ideas publicly with fliers or graffiti, at your own risk of course, or even here on this great internet, either on a truly anonymous website or using a pseudonym.

You might surprise yourself with what you learn, not only about the nature of humankind or the broad variety of ideas that people have, but about your own nature and your own ideas, ones you had inhibited for fear of punishment. So go, go and learn, more about yourself than anything or anyone else. I promise, you won't be any worse for the wear.

The Feeble and Uneducated.

I am upset. Nay; more than upset, I am downright infuriated.

Anybody who's spent more than ten or fifteen minutes discussing politics with me likely knows a few things -- I consider myself to be a Libertarian (I am, after all, legally registered as a member of the party), and as such; I believe in small government with the utmost liberty, but more importantly, responsibility, in the hands of the individual. That is what I believe, and I, for the most part, stick to it.

I understand that others' political and social views and opinions may and frequently do differ from mine, and that's something I can accept. Arguing and debating my beliefs with others who think differently is almost a sport. Largely fruitless (as people are extremely hard to sway with mere words on a page; especially when said words are in contest with personal experiences), but still a sport none the less, and one I engage in very, very frequently.

I enjoy it, however, and I also admire the adamancy of people's beliefs. The fact that people often make statements and their actions and subsequent statements is not only reassuring, but a necessity for a decent debate.

What I am building up to here is a general expression of hatred and frustration towards those who claim one thing, then almost instantaneously contradict themselves.

Case in point: Joel Stein.

Joel Stein is a writer for TIME Magazine. Joel Stein is also now known as, as far as I am concerned, the Feeble and Uneducated.

Let's work backwards. Obviously I've just called out somebody, I guess it's time to show my reasoning.

The "Uneducated" label comes from the first five words of his October 12th, 2009 column. They read as follows: "I'm all for Liberty, but[...]". Joel proceedes to prove why he is feeble, which is directly in contradiction with that statement.

Joel then goes on to write about how what America needs is a Dictator; and how Obama has practically been handed that position should he choose to take it. Though there is no denying that Obama's public and political influence is ridiculous (Joel is completely correct in mentioning that Obama could get TV Air time practically whenever he so desired; and that Democratic majority in both the Senate and House mean it would be almost criminally easy to get things pushed through if he so desired), my issue is with Joel saying that we need to essentially adopt Obama as a Dictator.

Not only does the suggestion that America adopt a Dictator enrage and infuriate me, but it's also a tremendous display of character. He's uneducated because he claims to be "all for" liberty then immediately contradicting himself (therefore using the term incorrectly), and he's feeble because he's admitted being willing to sacrifice his liberties so that a dictator could tell him and all of us what we can and can not do.

I, for one, am not willing to sacrifice my liberty so I can have the illusion of safety, nor am I willing to sacrifice my liberties so I can have a more homogenized society with more "polite" and "proper" standards.

So Joel, if you are reading this, I honestly hope that your obviously limp-wristed, hypo-allergenic, "let's let the government decide for us" nonsense hasn't sparked any other bullshit factories in to believing that a paternal authoritative leader is the best thing for America. I also hope that you soon get to experience the fact that what makes America such a wonderful place is our great liberties; preferably by way of a holiday in Cambodia.

To suggest that America adopt a system fundamentally and diametrically opposed to the ideals that we were founded on, that millions have gave their life to defend and that we rely on every day, is insane, preposterous, and downright insulting. Especially for somebody who claims so adamantly to be a believer in the very same liberties that you suggest our Government take away.

For now, however, I will leave you all with something that expresses, far more eloquently that I could, just some of what I believe, and most of what I've been ranting about here. It's a clip that is sure to be thought-provoking and hopefully touching to all but the most politically incapable (who are probably too busy smoking pot or driving their Priuses of whatever it is they do).



-Mike

Remembering Sport Compact Car.

I am a geek. I openly admit this fact. Most people see me or know me as a computer geek, but I've always had a passion for something else -- cars.

I've always loved cars. My mom always tells me stories about how I would be saying car manufacturer's names since I could see out the window of our car (which was a '94 Honda Accord) on the highway. Something about them has always intrigued me.

It wasn't until around the time I was eleven or twelve that it really hit me, though. Granted, I had a fair interest in cars before that, but something happened around that time. Something that sparked a realization of my passion and hasn't stopped since.

I picked up my first volume of Sport Compact Car.

As fate would have it, I was hooked. I still have and remember the exact issue, too. "The Ultimate Lap Dance" was the main article in the issue. It was about a Time Attack event that the SCC crew had put on in southern California. I also remember the next issue, "Evo Orgy", for a few reasons. Firstly, the Evo is/was the ultimate sport compact performance car, and secondly, the fact that two issues in a row had sexual references in the main article's title. Go figure.

While I was reading about Mugen's carbon-fiber clad S2000 and people doing JDM SR20 engine swaps in to Nissan 240SXs, my peers were looking at the riced out filth they called "cars" in competitor's magazines such as Super Street (which seemed to feature more scantily-clad women than any useful information, or, for that matter, cars).

I recieved subscriptions of SCC up until the time that Primedia (the bastards) axed the magazine a year or two ago -- but the cancellation of SCC's publication hasn't done anything to stop my interest. If anything, now that I'm older and have a much better understanding of cars, I'm going back and reading through all the tech articles, admiring Dave Coleman's seemingly endless automotive knowledge and learning further, occasionally reading through articles about somebody's built-up go-fast toy and experiencing the same slack-jawed awe at some of the work that's been put in to these cars.

Now, though, my appreciation for the information within SCC's pages has only grown. I've dug through the past six years worth of magazines to hunt down ones that had especially memorable articles -- ones about things like the Targa Newfoundland, Dave Coleman's five-part suspension tuning series, and SCC's multitude of project cars. Reading through tech articles now is far more gratifying than it ever was before, considering the knowledge of cars that I have now, and how I am actually able to retain the information in a relevant way, unlike ever before.

So I guess it would be safe to say that while not responsible for my passion to begin with, Sport Compact Car is definitely responsible for how geeky I am, and, my taste in cars. I will never forget just how SCC has helped define me as a car guy over the past seven years.

Autocross.

Autocross is an all-forward motion form of motorsports, often put on at publically available locations (such as airports or parking lots), and run by grassroots motorsports or car enthusiast groups.

Autocross is AWESOME.

Aside from the fact that I'm just a huge car fanatic to begin with, though, I have, what I like to believe, is a good argument as to why average Joes like you and I, should participate in autocross events. Because once you eliminate the factors of "fun", "cheap", and "exciting", there's still a very good reason to do it.

Vehicle control.

Anybody who has a license in the states knows how painfully easy it is to get one. Because of just how easy it is to get one, automobile accidents happen far too frequently, and I'm willing to bet that a lot of them could be prevented if the drivers involved had a better understanding of their vehicle's limits and how to control them.

Autocross is one such way to learn. Since it's put on by independent groups, it doesn't cost any of our taxpayer money, and it's not compulsory, either. It shouldn't be compulsory either, just highly recommended. You can't force people to do something, but I think if more people knew the benefits of Autocross, more people would partake.

The reason for writing all this is that I went Autocrossing on the 18th. Autocross is, let's face it, racing. Yes, I am saying that racing will make you a better driver.

Here's why. Knowing how hard I can push my car before it'll spin out or lock the tires means that out on the street, if there's an accident or something happening in front of me, I know better now how hard I can react and still maintain control. If I need to get somebody to the hospital or police station, I know how fast I can get there without losing control. Having better control over your vehicle makes you a better driver.

And for $30, why not? You can run anything except SUVs, Vans, and trucks (though unless you live on top of a mountain or work as a delivery driver, you shouldn't be driving one anyways), and at some events, you can even get racing instructors who can help you better find the limits of your car. Considering what good it does, it's worth the price! To be able to avoid accidents that I may have not previously been able to, $30 is a small price to pay.

So go, race your cars, become better drivers, and enjoy life!

(also, autocrossing is lots of fun)

General Motors: Hurting. Hard.

With the recent economic downturn, it's not hard to see that companies are hurting. General Motors, the American carmaker, is no exception.

In fact, GM is hurting so badly that they're talking about shutting down 42% of their dealerships, down to 3,600 dealers by next year.

GM's ten year stock trends only show themselves to re-enforce tales of GM's demise -- their ten-year trend is hugely downhill. GM's stock price peaked in early 2000 at a price of $93.62, however they've dropped a whopping 98.69% since then, for a current stock price, at the time of writing this, just under $1.175.

While GM fanboys tend to blame this on the financial crisis we're in, there's evidence to the contrary... Ford's stock trends.

Up until about March this year, Ford's and GM's stock trends were very similar. But then something peculiar happened. GM tanked and Ford began to rise.

From November 17th, 2008 until today, May 14th, 2009, Ford's stocks are up 194.87% and GM's are down 61.13%.

What does all this mean? It's simple. GM is failing and Ford is not. This echoes past just stock prices, too. GM has already axed it's Pontiac, Hummer, Saab and Saturn. Ford hasn't had to cut any brands.

The evidence is there and I will continue to say it: GM is going to crash and burn.